The Blues

These past few weeks have challenged me in ways that I cannot yet find the words for.  I've been exhausted emotionally, physically, and most of all mentally.  I've looked deeper into how there's a lot I take for granted.  I'm used to having my health, my freedom, and the ability to get up and do what I want when I want.  So, I've caught myself descending down into what could potentially be quite a dark place.  I've always found a little bit of stillness at those dark points. I imagine myself at the bottom of a huge hill looking upward toward a darkness illuminated only by my headlamp, knowing there's nowhere to go but up.  Typically, I try to look at everything as a chance to learn and grow but to be quite honest sometimes that's a bit of a challenge.  I'm realizing more and more how I'm the one who gets to change my perspective or my actions to make things better.  No one is going to come along and make the changes for me that I need to be happy.   

I know this blog might sound like a pretty big stray from the educational stuff I try to post but it's a little glimpse into what makes me want to Make.

I've been learning "The Wisdom of No Escape."  To be gentle with myself and recognize where I am.  I am here, I cannot exist in some happy memory from the past or desire for the future.  I am here and currently, here is not so great.  

This morning I made a choice. I could lay around and think about how things are not what I want them to be and feel sorry for myself, or I could get up and exercise my brain while resting my body. I could MAKE!   I chose the latter.  So I made food to nourish my body and art to fuel my mind and I realized that for me, Art is quite literally the light at the end of my tunnel.  It's what sparks my soul and moves the circulation in my hands to clear away the bruises.  It allows me to Let go and trust, little by little. 

Here's the piece that I made, for myself (forgive my artists hands!)  I'll wear it as a reminder that things aren't always going to be faultless.  This quote from Yohji Yamamoto resonates to me.  "I think perfection is ugly.  Somewhere in the things that human make, I want to see scars, failure, disorder, distortion."  We all have our little imperfections and in my eyes that makes us beautiful.  Life is a double sided coin, sometimes you get heads and sometimes you get tails.

 The blue opal is said to enhance communication skills, providing the user with the courage and freedom to speak at the right time.   It helps stimulate connections between people. So, let's make a date, coffee anyone?!

Cheers, here's to new beginnings, openings and always looking for the bright side.